December 13 It’s the morning of our first embryo transfer, the day we’ve been counting down since the moment we received our schedule. The date that’s been circled on the calendar, etched into our minds as the date that everything could change. We lie in […]
After R places the needles in the specific points on my body, she dims the lights, presses play on the radio, and shuts the door. Rainfall plays through her CD-player radio. The red light that hovers over my stomach for warmth, illuminates a spot on […]
Fall 2020 I end the phone call with the doctor confident in our decision to move forward with treatment, completely ignorant to what the treatment entailed. It wasn’t until I heard from the nurse a few days later where we had a plan in place […]
As the pit in my stomach grew, I begged the nurse for more information. What could possibly be wrong to warrant us to stop having unprotected sex immediately? I am not the expert, the nurse said, but the counselor is. So you’ll have to wait until […]
Spring 2020 It’s the first weekend of lockdowns and we all are trying to grasp our unprecedented reality. Just a week prior, my mornings started at 5am. I would rush to the cafe to start brewing coffee for the breakfast rush. Balancing the operations of […]
Read Sway: prologue Here January 2020 It’s been eight months since trying to have a baby, and I’m starting to feel desperate. Two weeks ago, we went on a weekend trip with friends to Nashville. Perfect timing I thought. Everyone says you’ll get pregnant on […]
It’s been two years and four months since our final embryo transfer. I came home from work, tossed my phone, and buried myself in my tear-soaked pillow, trying to muffle my sobs before Scott came home. It was beta day. The day we’d find out […]